The Battle

I hesitated to write this post for two reasons:
1. I don't enjoy this part of horsemanship and I don't want to glorify it.  I certainly don't want to make myself out to be a horse whisperer or the equine equivalent of Cesar Milan.  I'm not.
2. I don't want to alarm my friends and family, who are the bulk of my blog readers. 

In the end, I decided to write this post because:
1. Working with horses is not all about great rides, soft muzzles, and pretty ponies.  Sometimes it is an explosive clash of wills between a 1200 lb animal and a measly human.  I think it's only fair to be honest and write about the bad times as much as the good.  If other horse people ever read this blog, and they have bad days with their beloved horses, I wouldn't want them to feel alone.
2. There are many ways people can get hurt in this world (car accidents, falls on ice, etc.).  If something ever happens to me at the barn, you can all take comfort in the fact that I went out with my boots on and doing what I loved. 

By the time last Tuesday rolled around, Nox was officially unmanageable.  For two weeks, he had been kicking the walls and rearing in his stall.  I hurt my neck last week (see my comment about falling on ice) and so Best Husband Ever took care of Nox on Sunday.  Nox bit him on the arm and left a huge bruise.  On Monday, Nox bit the stable owner as he brought hay into his stall.  On Tuesday, when I led him out into the indoor ring to groom him, he reared up and struck out at me with his front hoof.  I ducked and quickly unclasped the lead rope from his halter.  Nox spun around and tried to kick me with both hind legs as I scrambled out of the ring.  I stood on the other side of the fence, trying to calm myself, as the horse I loved stomped, snorted, and kicked out in my direction.  For the first time, I was afraid of my horse.

"Have you LOST your mind?", I asked him.  I quickly came to realization that I would rather have a lame horse that was respectful and sweet, than a sound horse that was aggressive and terrifying.  Torn ligament and stall rest be damned, I had to put a stop to this RIGHT NOW.

I grabbed one of the long lunge whips, entered the arena with as much confidence and composure as I could muster, and took my place in the center of the ring.  I held up the whip, pointed in the direction I wanted Nox to move, and told him to "TROT!".  He reared, struck out, and bucked.  The battle was on.  We were going to fight this out until one of us lost, and it was NOT going to be me.  If I lost this battle, I would lose my horse.

For 20 minutes we went round and round - Nox trying to go where he wanted, and I trying to make him move where I wanted.  He kicked, jumped, swerved, reared, bucked, and did everything he could to intimidate me.  Twice, he faced me, muscles tensed and head cocked, seriously considering running me over.  Twice, I roared at him to "MOVE" and charged at him with the whip slashing in front of me.  Twice, he turned and ran.  Those were the scariest moments, but instinct took over and I knew I had to scarier and more aggressive than him.

20 minutes... he was sweating and blowing hard through his flared nostrils.  My heart was pounding, but I tried to maintain a confident and calm facade, forcing myself to speak calmly when he was running in the direction I asked him to, ramping it up only when he spun around and lashed out.

20 minutes... and then Nox conceded.  He started to listen to my commands and run in a circle around me.  I told him to trot and he slowed to a trot, free lunging like we did before he went on stall rest.  A few laps later I told him to walk, and he slowed to a walk.  I kept him walking for a while, occasionally telling him to stop, and then walk again, to test his obedience.  He had a calmer demeanor and his focus was on me in a positive way, not an aggressive way.  I asked him to "whoa" and he stopped.  We stood there for a few minutes.  I put the whip down and walked to him.  His eye was soft and I patted his wet, dripping shoulder, talking softly but firmly.

I turned and walked toward the gate to get his lead rope, thinking Nox would stay where he was, but he followed me quietly, head down and a few steps behind.  I hooked his lead rope to his halter and spent the next hour grooming him.  Nox was behaving as he was before he went on stall rest.  I won back his respect and obedience in that 20 minutes.  I was worried about his ligament and afraid that I may have undone 4 months of stall rest in that battle, but the vet was coming the next day, and I knew that she would understand.  Above all, Nox must be a safe horse.

Wednesday, the vet came to re-evaluate Nox.  I explained to Dr. Meg how the last two weeks had been, and how it all came to head the day before.  She listened and nodded.  Nox was better behaved than usual during the exam, but he did try to nip a few times.  Dr. Meg declared him to be 80% improved.  For his sanity and everyone's safety, she ordered him to be on modified rest for 2 more months.  I could turn him out in the indoor ring, and I could do 15 minutes of free lunging with him at the walk and trot to the left.  Dr. Meg suggested I do some long-rein ground work with him, if he is calm enough.  He needs to be exercised and I need to be able to exert this kind of control over him to remain "in charge".  The light exercise might slow down his healing, but it is necessary, and hopefully it will stop him from kicking and rearing in his stall, which I'm sure isn't helping.

I am pleased with this plan.  Dr. Meg will come back in the beginning of May to re-evaluate him, and we'll see what we can do from there.