Thoughts on being Special...

There is a really nice woman at the barn who has been helping me with Nox.  Julie taught me how to ground drive and she's currently helping me with exercises for Nox to get him to bend and be more supple.  She specializes in buying young horses, training them, showing them for a few years, and then selling them.  She's very talented and she cares very much for her horses, but she does not get overly attached to them.

Julie has been hinting that I should get a second horse.  "We won't give up on Nox", she says, "but you could be showing next summer if you got another horse that wasn't injured."  She sent me a video of a horse that she thought would be perfect for me.  His name is String Bean, he is 3 years old, very tall, jet black, perfectly sound, and is already jumping and doing dressage.  I watched the video and he is amazing!  But here's the thing - two things, actually:

1. I can't afford to board a second horse.  Best Husband Ever and I budget carefully to make sure that Nox, Moose, and the two of us have a roof over our heads, food to eat, and a few little extras like lead ropes, chew toys, and dinner dates.

2. String Bean doesn't need me.  

Somebody will buy String Bean.  He is a beautiful horse who has lived an easy life so far, and he has tons of potential for blue show ribbons.  Nox needed an adopter who would give him plenty of time to recover physically and mentally from a hard life.  Julie must think that I'm disappointed that I can't show Nox yet, and that I have to take it easy when I ride him, but I don't feel that way at all.  Riding Nox in a show and winning a ribbon is one of my goals, but mostly because it will be proof that he has healed completely from a career ending injury that could have cost him his life.  (I also look forward to blatantly flaunting his gorgeousness around a show ring once or twice.)

I enjoy riding Nox.  Today was an especially good ride.  He moved nicely and was receptive to my cues to bend and collect himself.  He picked up a canter on the left lead the second time I asked and didn't seem as sore as usual.  I was very proud of him and I had a great time, but wanting to ride is not the reason that I adopted him.  Our relationship is more than just rider and horse.  My favorite moments with Nox happen when we are side by side:

   ~ Every one in a while, I need to clean Nox's stall while he is still standing in it.  He's big, so he takes up much of the space in there.  I'll push him to one side of the stall so I can clean the other end.  He'll slowly inch his way back toward me so that he can rest his muzzle on my shoulder, play with my jacket pocket, or nibble at the pitchfork handle.  We play more than we scoop poop. On those days, the stall may not be as clean as usual, but that's ok. 

   ~ Our grooming routine hasn't changed since the first day Nox came to me.  He loves to be fussed over and I relish the time I spend sweeping dust from his glossy coat and combing his long tail.  Nox always stands quietly and watches with interest to see what brush I'm picking up next.  He leans into my hand when I curry his itchy spots and keeps his eyes closed a little longer than necessary when I clean his face with the soft brush.

I will never sell Nox.  I plan to have him until one of us no longer walks on this earth, so I'm free to get as attached to him as I possibly can.  I would love to have a second horse some day, and I will most likely adopt another rescue horse.  There is something special about a horse who knows that he is secure and loved, when he has lived the alternative.  Nox is special, and right now, no other horse can even turn my head.