Nox has been steadily improving since removing his front shoes two weeks ago. He happily runs around the indoor ring and I will start riding again this week.
Unfortunately, his attitude has been steadily more aggressive. He's always been a mouthy horse and he likes to play with things. Recently, Nox has been biting and chewing on his lead rope. I've tried to discourage the behavior, but then he gets annoyed and nips at my hand. I've been too lenient, with him being sore, and my gentle reprimands have not been effective. I hate to hit any animal and I've been trying to discipline Nox with loud protests and sharp jerks of his halter. He doesn't even flinch.
Last Thursday, he was really misbehaving and I couldn't get through our ground manner games because he was so focused on biting at me. I sent him off to run around the ring and he turned his rear end toward me and kicked out with both feet - a horse version of "flipping the bird". He was too far to actually connect his hooves to my body, but the messgae was clear: he did not respect me.
I knew I had to regain control and get more aggressive with Nox, but I really disliked the idea of hitting him. That night, I read some articles about disrespectful, unmanageable horses and one article really hit me hard. The trainer wrote that a horse that bites and kicks is a dangerous horse, and the future for a dangerous horse is grim. Often, owners are too lenient because they feel like they know the horse well enough to manage him. But what happens if that owner can't keep the horse anymore? If someone else had to care for the horse, would they feel safe? If not, the tragic fate of that horse is entirely the lenient owner's fault.
I read that and had an ah-ha moment. Nox escaped the slaughter truck once when he came off the racetrack injured. If I couldn't train him to be a respectful and manageable horse, it will be my fault if he hurts me or someone else; my fault if no one wants him, if I can't care for him anymore.
I went to the barn the next day with a whole new attitude. I led Nox into the ring and the second he reached down to bite the rope and my hand, I came at him like a pitbull - slapping the lead rope against his chest and shoulders, growling, and yelling "No" for about 8 long seconds as he backed up in surprise and fear. Then I stood next to him like nothing happened. He was breathing hard and his eyes were wide as he looked at me, probably wondering who the heck I was.
I walked forward and told Nox to "walk". He took a few steps with me, a little hesitantly, and then reached out to bite the rope again. A second time I whirled around, repeatedly smacked his chest with the lead rope, and backed him up yelling loudly.
He didn't try it again. In fact, he followed me like a puppy, stood still and calm while I dangled the lead rope in front of him, backed up as fast as his feet could shuffle when I told him to "back", and played the ground manner games with better precision than ever. I could just point to the foot I wanted him to move and he responded instantly. I had Nox's respect but I didn't feel any triumph.
I called Best Husband Ever and told him about it with shame in my voice. I hated that I had to hit Nox with the lead rope. I felt like a terrible person who beats animals and I was embarrassed, frankly, even if I did earn the respect I wanted. Best Husband Ever listened sympathetically. He reminded me that my gentler methods weren't effective (true), a cotton lead rope wasn't enough to really hurt a 1200 lb horse no matter how hard I swung it (good point), and that appropriate discipline is part of love (why are he and my dad always right?).
Nox half-heartedly tried to bite the lead rope once today. He will always test his boundaries, I think. I only had to shout loudly and swing the rope one time. He was an angel afterwards and very easy to work with. I've never seen him stand as quietly as he does now. Nox is a smart horse and he really wants to please me, but he's also playful and goofy, and has to learn his limits.
I have to be strong enough, and love him enough, to teach him.
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